This article originally appeared in Fitness Business magazine in June 2025
Words are powerful. They help us communicate with others and they have an impact.
When it comes to how we feel and how we think about ourselves, the words that we use internally are just as powerful as the words that we say out loud. They are the words that we use to shape our self-image and help reate our external reality.
Running a business, dealing with clients and staff, and managing your life can be complicated. The words that you use to counsel yourself and those you use to communicate with your team members and clients become critical parts of managing personal and business stress.
You must begin by asking yourself the critical question: What are the words that I use most often? As a coach, I have spent thousands of hours in conversations with my clients, and I often hear words like “always” and “never.” People also frequently say “have to” and “should.”
Before painting yourself into a corner, I suggest you consider two short and powerful words and how often they appear in your daily lexicon. They can have a massive impact on you and your clients.
To truly simplify and amplify your life, try using two words more often:
AND and NO.
Saying NO is an important skill that helps set boundaries. “No” can be a positive, proactive and necessary
act of self-care and self-preservation.
NO
Yes, you are reading that correctly.
NO is an important word that many people try to avoid. Uttering it on the regular may make us feel as if we’re letting someone down or shirking responsibility. It seems to carry an implication of weakness.
In my perspective, NO can be a positive, proactive, and necessary word that we should use with conviction whenever necessary. It can be an empowering and, in some cases, energizing act of self-care and preservation. Too often I hear clients agreeing to something when they would prefer to say NO. They simply prefer to avoid conflict and any perception that they are being selfish or negative.
Saying NO is a skill. Saying NO helps you to set boundaries. NO allows you to honor your values and make active choices about what you commit to. NO brings clarity around responsibility and expectation. A firm NO tells the receiver where you stand.
It may not be what they wished for, and it may make them uncomfortable, yet a definitive NO allows them to evaluate their options and find a different way forward.
SAYING VS HEARING NO
Service-providers in the fitness industry are often instructed to engage with a prospect’s NO in a certain way. That’s why it’s important to distinguish between the NO that someone utters to clarify boundaries and the NO that may relate to anything from discontinuing a membership to joining a challenge. What you do when you receive a NO is of great significance.
A teammate’s NO is an invitation to become curious and listen, to understand what is beneath their position, and to approach their issue with respect and acknowledgment. Is their NO an expression of their personal boundary, a line they will not cross? Is it resistance to change and fear? Or is it an expression of uncertainty around their responsibilities and a sign of dissatisfaction with your organization?
For clients and staff alike, NO may prompt you to ask questions like:
What has not been working for you? Is there anything we could have done differently? What might we have done to change your NO to a YES? What are your needs right now?
Here is how to make saying NO easier:
Acknowledge what you have been asked, and then clearly say NO to whatever you are not going to do. AND, if possible, suggest what you might be able to say yes to. Be prepared with clear explanations: “I understand that you forgot to cancel your registration for this month and the system has already charged you. I’m sorry that I can’t refund you the money. I can, however, let you pass the membership to a friend.”
If you receive a NO or think a person wants to say NO: acknowledge that you are hearing a NO and that there might be a problem. Then bring it back to yourself and say, would like to understand better why you are saying NO,” so you can learn and improve and perhaps reach the solution you both need.
TRY IT! AND AND NO.
TWO SIMPLE WORDS THAT CREATE POSSIBILITY AND CLARITY IN BUSINESS AND IN LIFE.
AND
This is by far my favorite word. It is a liberating word in so many ways, and it has the ability to expand who you are by allowing for a wider variety of possibilities.
I learned the importance of this word 12 years ago when I was going through cancer treatments. I felt miserable and I had no energy. I would read about people going through the same or similar experiences who were still working and living their “normal” lives and I would wonder what was wrong with me.
Then I realized that I could:
- Be having a difficult day AND still be a positive person.
- Have things that I dislike about myself AND have amazing strengths and qualities.
- Love my job AND dislike certain parts of it.
- Like and respect my clients AND feel frustrated by them.
- Acknowledge what my clients are saying AND disagree with them.
- Accept that life can be challenging AND wonderful.
Despite its power, people tend to use the word BUT more than AND. Many of my clients use it more frequently
When you utter a statement using the word BUT, the listener tends to devalue anything that precedes BUT and overemphasize the negative impact of what follows it. Note the difference between the following statements: “I value you as an employee BUT I feel I still have to oversee everything you do,” vs. “I value you as an employee AND I would like to feel that you can be more independent.”
The latter is a far more powerful and positive statement, which opens up possibilities for your team member without shades of negativity or judgment.
I challenge you to become more aware of when you use the word BUT, and see if you can change it to AND. This simple reset of mind and attitude will foster acceptance and positivity and invite fresh opportunities, creativity, and growth.