I recently spoke with a client about the idea that it is better to be smart than to be right. Understanding the difference can bring a new perspective into our lives and our relationships.
Being right:
- Is about proving that you know best and that your position is the correct one.
- Is about choosing to focus on the fact that you are right regardless of whether that will result in the best outcome.
- Is about ignoring other perspectives and forgetting that there might be more than one way to do things, more than one way of reacting to different circumstances.
Being smart:
- Is about doing what is best for you and others.
- Is about stepping back and seeing the bigger picture and different perspectives.
- Is about picking your battles.
- Is about keeping in mind the outcome and the impact that you want to have.
- Is about creating stronger relationships.
This reminds me of a conversation I had some weeks ago with my daughter about how difficult it has been to live with roommates during the pandemic.
Each person is facing the same uncertainty but reacts to it differently and has their own coping strategies.
When they tried convincing each other that their own approach was the right one they created an atmosphere of resentment and hurt. When they were able to step back and listen, they understood each other better and found a solution that allowed for compromise and respect.
Being smart versus being right.
Making the best possible decisions in order to create the impact you desire while letting go of the need to prove that your position or action is the right one.
As we look ahead to shorter and darker winter months during this time of uncertainty and challenges, I invite you to ask yourself what outcomes you want to achieve and how you can let go of the need to be right.