How Much Responsibility is Too Much? 

Claudia Aronowitz

I just listened to a webinar that suggested we take 100% responsibility in all areas of our lives

Sounds beautiful AND unachievable.

I was tempted to leave the webinar AND I was reminded how I like to say that in our personal and professional connections, both sides are 100% responsible for what happens within the relationship.

What does being 100% responsible actually mean?

  • We need to know ourselves and be aware of our strengths, weaknesses, values and needs.


  • We need to accept and love ourselves. If we truly accept and love who we are, we do not depend on the validation of others.


  • We need to take 100% responsibility for our words. First, we can pay attention to how we are communicating, the words we are using and the impact we are having on others. Our intentions are not enough.

  • We then need to learn to communicate in ways that others can hear and understand. This is not always easy but it is very important. How and when we deliver our message allows us to have more control over how it is heard. These are tools that can be learned!

  • It also means knowing when to let things go and decide that we have taken responsibility for our part and the rest depends on the other side. It means knowing when not to engage and when to leave a toxic relationship or situation.

100% responsibility does not mean:

  • That the other person is not also responsible.


  • That everything is within our control.


  • That we will get it right and be successful every time. We will fail and even our best efforts may not be well-received.


100% responsibility means:

  • We are aware of our feelings, our triggers, our actions and our behaviours.


  • We learn to deliver our messages in ways that will be heard.


  • We say less and listen more so that we can learn and adapt.


  • We accept when we are wrong.


  • We will try again.

I invite you to think about a specific relationship and ask yourself: 


What would taking 100% responsibility look like? 

What concrete actions would be required? 


Taking 100% responsibility is a constant learning process. 

Even though I spend my professional life in this area, I recently found myself up in the middle of the night thinking about how to communicate an important message so that my family would hear it.

I had to identify what was triggering me and what I felt was not being understood. I did my best and then had to accept that I had taken 100% responsibility for transmitting the message and now it was time to let it go.

“100% responsibility is not about perfection.
It is about constant learning and actions.”

– Claudia Aronowitz

If your communication with others is causing you stress and keeping you up at night, reach out and let’s chat.

Sign up to receive my monthly blog directly to your inbox!

* indicates required
About Claudia Aronowitz
As a highly trained, certified coach and mediator, I take pride in helping others find clarity and acceptance of who they are. I will propel you to move forward into taking responsibility and leadership of your life and relationships—both personal and professional. With compassion and a straightforward approach, I will help you discover new insight and uncover opportunities to use your unique voice. From there you can create the life and relationships that you desire and find fulfillment and joy in life’s challenging journey. Learn More About Claudia >>

 Take the first step to creating the change you want.

Connect with Claudia for a free 30-minute consultation!