At times of crisis, it is often helpful to reflect on the paradigms that we have set for ourselves. These can affect our perspective and even impact our ability to cope—good or bad—during difficult periods.

As I prepared this post, I found myself debating what you, as readers, need to hear most. As our days in isolation continue, one of the things I keep returning to—personally, and in my chats with clients—are the paradigms that guide our lives.

It might also be necessary to maybe shift or adjust some of the paradigms that previously worked.

Consider what myths or paradigms are serving you right now. 

Are there any that might not be helpful and need to change during this major disruption in our lives?

From recent discussions with my clients, the question of what it means to be a “good parent” comes up a lot. With many kids spending too much time online, or experiencing boredom, and/or struggling with online learning, many parents are feeling “ not good enough.” The shift then is what do our kids really need from us at the moment and what are we able to actually give them, while being stressed and anxious ourselves?

For partners who are suddenly together 24/7, our usual roles and expectations may need to be adjusted. What does it mean to be a good partner? What do I need to ask for and give in return?

For adult children unexpectedly caring full time for elderly parents, we may be surprised (and even disappointed) by some of our less-positive reactions and feelings. And working from home has completely disrupted our usual work routines.

If it was ever clear before the pandemic—and I would argue that it often wasn’t—for many of us, it has become very unclear how we are supposed to be “good” parents, partners, children, employees and employers during a major life disruption like this.

And as we reflect on our guiding principles and truths—and myths—the answers are not always easy to identify. But if we can open ourselves up to see that this crisis is demanding that we change and adapt, it might be easier to permit ourselves to think differently.

We must continually adapt

By recognizing that a new “normal” this week might be a different “new normal” next week, we acknowledge that we must continuously adapt. And as exhausting as that might feel, it is also what keeps us moving forward.

One day at a time. One week at a time. This is how we need to move forward during 2020.

So, I encourage you to ease up on some of those paradigms that may not serve you well right now. It’s more important than ever to bust the myths of what it means to be good at something. 

Be kind to yourself in order to stay healthy, both mentally and physically.

Whatever the new normal requires, let it happen for now.

There is no “normal” as we once knew it. Allow yourself to change and adapt as slow and carefully as you need to.

And, as always, know that I am here for support.

Over a free call, we can discuss what paradigm shifts you might need right now.