Words are powerful. They help us communicate with others and they create an impact. Words that we use internally are just as powerful as words that we say out loud when it comes to how we feel and how we perceive our reality.
What are the words that you use most often?
FOUR FAVOURITE WORDS
As a coach, I have spent thousands of hours in conversations with clients. I often hear these words: always, never, I don’t know, have to, and should.
There are four words that I believe we should all use more often in our conversations with ourselves and with others. These are:
AND. NO. PERSPECTIVE. IMPERFECT.
This is why I find these words so powerful:
This is probably my favourite word of all. It is a liberating word in so many ways. It expands who we are and it allows for many possibilities.
I learned the importance of AND 12 years ago when I was going through cancer treatments. I felt miserable and I had no energy. I was just surviving each day. I would read about people going through the same thing who were still working and living a normal life and I would wonder if I was making my symptoms up or if I had become a negative person. Then I realized that I could:
- Be having a difficult day AND still be a positive person
- Have things that I dislike about myself AND have amazing strengths and qualities
- Love my job AND dislike parts of what I have to do
- Love and respect my husband AND sometimes be mad at him
- Acknowledge what you are saying AND disagree with you
I can…….. AND………. can apply to so many areas of our lives.
Life is challenging AND wonderful.
AND invites growth and expansion.
Many believe that the word NO is negative and should be used as little as possible.
I would like to offer the perspective that NO can be positive, as it permits the person saying NO and the person receiving NO to move forward.
When we say NO we set boundaries. It permits us to honour our values and make an active choice about what we will and will not do.
The person receiving NO as an answer gains clarity about where they stand. Imagine that we have an amazing introductory call and then you decide for whatever reason that you don’t want to work with me. It is not what we wished for but if you say NO in the first follow-up email we both immediately know where we stand and we can both move forward.
How I feel is based on how I perceive what is happening.
Perspective means the way that I see things from where I am standing in this moment. My perspective is composed of an objective component and also a subjective component.
Acknowledging that it is my perspective means that it can be different than yours. It also means that if I move, I might see things differently and my perspective might change.
Watch this simple video as an illustration of what can happen when we move.
Can you shift, even a little, your perspective in an area of your life?
Every human being is imperfect. We have strengths and weaknesses. We have things that we like about ourselves and things that we dislike about ourselves. Our choices are imperfect. Our actions are imperfect.
Does accepting our imperfection mean that we stop trying to be our best selves or stop being dedicated to achieving what is important to us? Not at all. What it means is that we accept ourselves completely and live our lives with the beauty of imperfection.
AND. NO. PERSPECTIVE. IMPERFECT.
These are some of my favourite words and I try to invite them into my life often.
What do you think of them? Can you think of other words that I should use more often?
Let me know what you think by replying to this email. I always love hearing from you.