Stop Fearing Failure

Claudia Aronowitz

We are told that failure is part of learning and that the only way to grow and create change is to step outside of our comfort zone.

We know that the only people who do not fail are the ones who aren’t doing anything.

Despite knowing all of these things, most of us fear and even hate failure.

As humans we like to feel in control and we like to predict results. 

In a discussion about next steps in his career, one of my amazing clients asked me what failure actually is. As a scientist he looks at failure with a new and empowering perspective. 

This client is a professor in a university who experiments, and he understands that many times you will not get the results you expect. Often he does not even know what results to expect. He sees a question or problem that needs answering, follows a process and accepts that the experiment might not even bring results. 

What if we could change our relationship with failure by asking ourselves different questions at the start of something new? 

  • If what I am about to do does not work, what is the value of doing it anyway?
  • What will I be able to learn by trying this?
  • What is the reason I want to try to do this?

Asking these questions and understanding that it is about the doing and the learning and not only about the outcome permits movement and allows us to let go of the fear of failure.

I know from a decade of growing my coaching business that it is easy to get caught up in results. Focusing only on things like the number of clients that I have, the revenue I generate or the number of times I am asked to be a speaker can be totally draining. This type of focus can make us feel stuck, worried and like we are not enough. 

We can choose instead to pay attention to what we are doing that is within our control. 

We can be proud that we tried even though we felt unsure and scared. 

We can ask what we have learned. 

If we remember to focus on these things rather than only on results, the same circumstances can feel uplifting and creative.  

Claudia Aronowitz - Magnificent Person - person standing and facing the sunrise

Let’s stop and continuously ask ourselves: 

What can I learn from this regardless of the results?
Why am I trying to do this? 

Not achieving a desired result or not knowing what the result might be allows us to concentrate on the now, to focus on the present and the process, and to move forward in a constant way. 

We don’t always know where success will come from and failure is part of the process of success. 

Please reach out if you have been wondering what working with a coach would look like for you and what changes it might bring.

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About Claudia Aronowitz
As a highly trained, certified coach and mediator, I take pride in helping others find clarity and acceptance of who they are. I will propel you to move forward into taking responsibility and leadership of your life and relationships—both personal and professional. With compassion and a straightforward approach, I will help you discover new insight and uncover opportunities to use your unique voice. From there you can create the life and relationships that you desire and find fulfillment and joy in life’s challenging journey. Learn More About Claudia >>

 Take the first step to creating the change you want.

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