That’s What Friends Are For 

Claudia Aronowitz

I don’t have hundreds of friends on Instagram or Facebook. 

If I threw a party I couldn’t invite a large group of people. 

I don’t have many friends.

I have a few very close friends in different parts of the world. 

A few weeks ago, I had an amazing opportunity to spend three days in a small Mexican village with three of my friends from high school.

This is us, 40 years ago and now! (Don’t we look exactly the same?)

These friends show me what friendship is and why we need it in our lives.

They were at the side of another friend who sadly passed away, every week, rain or shine, pandemic or not, throughout her four years of a very difficult illness. They were always there for support.

Do you know that loneliness has become the number one health crisis of our time?

In his amazing book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, former United States Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy writes:

 “Quite simply, human relationship is as essential to our wellbeing as food and water. Just as hunger and thirst are our body’s way of telling us we need to eat and drink, loneliness is the natural signal that reminds us when we need to connect with other people.”

Study after study show that those who live longer and more fulfilled lives reside in a community connected to people they feel close to. 


What makes a good connection? What is a good friendship?
 

The definition is different for each of us, but for me a friend is:

  • Someone I can talk to as if we had seen each other the day before, even if a year or more has passed.
  • Someone that accepts me as I am, with all of my amazing qualities AND all of my faults.
  • Someone I am comfortable enough with to be vulnerable and share my needs.
  • Someone I have fun with and can goof around with.
  • Someone I can have deep and serious conversations with.
  • Someone who will make an effort to keep in touch and stay connected. 

We are all different. Our definitions of friendship are different. 

Some of us need few people around us, others need many. Some have large families and others have chosen families. Some friends live close to us and some far away. Some are our own age, some are much older or younger. Some share our political views and with some we will always disagree. 

What is constant is that we all need close relationships in our lives. 

Close connections are not a given and will require time, effort and attention.  

We will disagree sometimes and need to find ways to patch up and reconnect. Hopefully we will laugh and cry together. We will change (yes, I know the picture shows we have changed!), they will change, the relationship will change. All of this is part of the relationships that we need in our lives. 

The beauty of relationships is that it is never too late to start. We can reconnect with people from our past and connect with new people in our lives. 

I have a task for you.

Pick up the phone and send a text or, better yet, call someone you feel like connecting with. Let them know that you are thinking of them. It is a small action that can make a difference for you and for them. 

Reach out to people around you. We all need each other. 

Appreciate those you care about, we all need to be seen. 

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About Claudia Aronowitz
As a highly trained, certified coach and mediator, I take pride in helping others find clarity and acceptance of who they are. I will propel you to move forward into taking responsibility and leadership of your life and relationships—both personal and professional. With compassion and a straightforward approach, I will help you discover new insight and uncover opportunities to use your unique voice. From there you can create the life and relationships that you desire and find fulfillment and joy in life’s challenging journey. Learn More About Claudia >>

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