Turn off the “Should” to get to what you “Want”

Claudia Aronowitz

A few weeks ago, the world lost a special human being.

This beautiful soul was a client of mine for the past year. Every two weeks, we would get together to chat. Our discussions often centered around his special philosophy of life or his worries about the future, but the one thing we regularly discussed is something I think many of us struggle with: what we believe we should do versus what we actually want to do. 

My client felt like he should downsize upon retirement, yet he wanted to stay in the home he loved. He thought he should be travelling, yet he was enjoying the fulfillment that came from his involvement with his local community and giving back. He had so much wisdom and light to share with the world, but it was clouded with worries about the future and pressure to conform to what he believed society thought he should be doing.

And then, one Wednesday morning, he went to volunteer as he always did. He went from suddenly feeling unwell to having heart surgery to never returning my emails again. And, just like that, all those worries about what he should be doing in the future were moot. His future was never to come.

So many of the things we worry about never actually happen

This experience reminded me of some wise words a rabbi shared with me this past spring. He said, “sometimes problems can only be solved at the right time.” His point was that so many of the things we worry about never actually happen.He was absolutely right.

 Just like my client’s future, yours isn’t guaranteedNor is mine

 We, therefore, need to make sure we are doing what we want to be doing—today! If we want/need to make changes—within ourselves, at work, at home or in relationships—the time to start is now.

 Remember that the “should” in our head is often not necessarily what we need. This “should” competes with the deep feeling of contentment that only comes when we are true to our own passions and pursue what we want to do.

 Remember, we are all different and none of us should be doing the same thing. 

If you are struggling to be your authentic self and make the changes you need, let me know. I can help. Let’s not wait for an uncertain future. Make today matter.


With gratitude,


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About Claudia Aronowitz
As a highly trained, certified coach and mediator, I take pride in helping others find clarity and acceptance of who they are. I will propel you to move forward into taking responsibility and leadership of your life and relationships—both personal and professional. With compassion and a straightforward approach, I will help you discover new insight and uncover opportunities to use your unique voice. From there you can create the life and relationships that you desire and find fulfillment and joy in life’s challenging journey. Learn More About Claudia >>

 Take the first step to creating the change you want.

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